Monday, January 03, 2005

Bush inauguration fever—catch it!

I’ve got Bush inauguration nausea, myself. I also have Bush inauguration jitters, Bush inauguration cold sweats, and Bush inauguration catatonia. There is currently no known cure. Sufferers frequently self-medicate, typically with hard liquor and (usually in the morning) schnapps.

Those afflicted with Bush inauguration fever suffer side effects such as greed, myopia, self-centeredness, callousness, and compulsive displaying of the Ten Commandments. Long-term side effects are extremely high deficits, underfunded schools, inflation and bankrupt Social Security. Warning: these long-term side effects are highly contagious, and can afflict even those who don’t suffer Bush inauguration fever.

Outbreak has been primarily confined to certain sections of North America, as well as a rash that has inexplicably erupted in the Middle East.


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