Sunday, March 13, 2005

Look, Hillary Clinton will never run for president.

After my disastrous predictions of the 2002 and 2004 elections, I'm pretty much through with the predicting game. However, there's one prediction I'm ready to make: Hillary Clinton will never run for president.

I really wish this blather about Hillary Clinton running for president would stop. She's never going to run! She'd never win, either, and I'm sure she knows it. Oh, she'll have no problem winning reëlection to the Senate in New York next year, but since presidential elections include those other 49 states as well, I'm sure she's not going to go through the unrealistic procedure of shooting for the White House.

All the talk about her running is pushed by Republicans, who would love to see her run, and who use the mere mention of her name as a big fundraising tool. They'd love to see her run because as a presidential candidate, she'd be even more divisive than George W. Bush, and she'd unify the Republicans against her. Come 2007, when the Democrats are filing papers and announcing their intentions, Hillary Clinton will be starting her second term in the Senate, legislating in Washington, and she will not be among them.

Don't encourage the right wingers who keep mentioning her as a likely presidential candidate; she's not going to do it. You want some actual Democrats who might run? Okay, here's a list:

Democrats Sen. John Kerry (MA)
Sen. Joe Biden (DE)
Gov. Mark Warner (VA)
former Sen. John Edwards (NC)
Gov. Mike Easely (NC)
Gov. Phil Bredesen (TN)
Sen. Evan Bayh (IN)
Gov. Tom Vilsack (IA)
Gov. Kathleen Sebelius (KS)
Gov. Bill Richardson (NM)
Gov. Janet Napolitano (AZ)

Republicans Gov. Mitt Romney (MA)
Gov. George Pataki (NY)
former Gov. Tom Ridge (PA)
Sen. John Warner (VA)
Sen. George Allen (VA)
Gov. Jeb Bush (FL)
Sen. Bill Frist (TN)
former Gov. Mike Huckabee (AR)
Sen. Chuck Hagel (NE)
Gov. Bill Owens (CO)

Conspicuously absent former Gov. Howard Dean (D-VT)
Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA)
Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT)
Sen. Christopher Dodd (D-CT)
Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)
former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani (R-NY)
former Sec'y of State Colin Powell (R-NY)
Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Sen. Elizabeth Dole (R-NC)
former Rep. Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL)
former Att'y Gen. Janet Reno (D-FL)
former Vice Pres. Al Gore (D-TN)
Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH)
Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D-MI)
Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL)
former Gov. Jesse Ventura (I-MN)
Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA)
Gen. Wesley Clark (D-AR)
former Sen. Dale Bumpers (D-AR)
Sec'y of State Condoleezza Rice (R-AL?)
former Sen. Gary Hart (D-CO)
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Gov. Arnold Schwarzeneggar (R-CA)
Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)
Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA)

The eleven Democrats and ten Republicans are the likely presidential candidates in 2008. The 27 people in the "conspicuously absent" list are those whose names keep coming up for whatever bizarre reasons when the next president of the United States is discussed. All of them are either unelectable, uninterested, ineligible, or some combination of those adjectives—and are aware of it. (I can't imagine how John Edwards would think of himself as electable at this point; still, the scuttlebutt about a 2008 bid for the White House seems to have some substance to it. I hope I'm wrong about this one.)

I'm sure there are names that I've left off the first two lists, names of people who might throw their hats into the ring later on. You never know. But I'm certain that anyone who shows up on the list of the 27 unelectables will never run. So if you want to sound smart, like you know what you're talking about, bone up on these people and amaze your friends! Next time someone says, "Oh, I wonder how the Hillary/Condi race is going to turn out?" you can blow them away by saying, "Well, I think it's much more likely that either party will nominate a governor. New Mexico's Bill Richardson is a likely choice for the Democrats—popular and Hispanic—while the Republicans might nominate Mitt Romney, provided he can win reëlection in 2006. Otherwise, they might be stuck with Bill Frist. I think America will be too tired of Bushes to nominate Jeb—at least, I hope they are!" Gosh, you'll sound smart! Wouldn't that be cool?

Get people to think you're smart: acknowledge that Hillary Clinton isn't running for president in 2008, or probably ever. She's staying in the Senate, and as a New Yorker, I'm glad for that. But those of you in the other 49 states won't have the pleasure of seeing her name on the ballot, I'm afraid.


At Monday, October 3, 2011 at 4:30:00 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sooo far off. Hillary won't run, and Barack Obama listed in the unelectable column. Hope this ends your blogging career.

At Saturday, October 8, 2011 at 9:09:00 PM EDT, Blogger Kurt Kaletka said...

Um... look, John, I don't really bother with the horse race anymore. I'm not very good at it, and I've come to view it as an unproductive distraction.

My question to you is: do you make it a habit of seeking out six-year-old blog posts just to make snotty comments about someone predicting the future wrong? Does this make you feel like a big man? Do you ever sign your name or provide a link back, big man? I am shocked, I say shocked, that you don't.


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