Car alarm alert
I heard someone say recently, "Do car alarms work?" Well, I'm sure they do work. Why, just the other day I heard one going off. Luckily, I live on the ground floor, so I got my slippers on and, still in my underwear, tore out onto the street. Not a quarter of a block away was the car in question, on stage four of the third run-through of the alarm. I was sure I'd find a thief under the steering wheel this time, but as I came closer, I saw that no one was in or near the car. "Get help!" I called to someone sitting on a nearby stoop. "This car alarm was going off! Someone was obviously just trying to steal this car! Get a cop here so we can check for fingerprints around the door handles! The thief might strike again—and soon!" The person on the stoop told me that no one had tried to steal the car, and that the alarm had been set off by someone driving by on a motorcycle without a muffler.
"Well," I said to the person on the stoop, "no matter. I heard the alarm; what solid citizen would ignore it? It's my—our—civic duty to respond to potential trouble, and we must remain vigilant. Vigilant." I shook the hand of the person sitting on the stoop and marched back to my apartment, my pride overwhelming the embarrassment of standing outside in broad daylight in my underwear.