Thursday, October 13, 2005

Making True or Better fair and balanced

Some of you have been complaining about the obvious slant of this blog. Anyone who's ever seen an episode of Hannity & Colmes knows that you can't say anything's fair or balanced unless you have the conservative point of view represented. Kurt couldn't take the constant harping on the part of we Republicans and other conservatives, so he finally broke down and let me join the blog and rebut his slant. So, hello. I'm Vernon the Rat, and I'm here to provide balance.

Who am I? Well, like Kurt, I live in New York City, but I don't live with him. I live on the West Side of Manhattan, somewhere under 34th Street or Ninth Avenue, usually near a Chinese restaurant or a bar. My big gripe are the sanitation codes that the Democrats put in place that make it harder for us to eat. I mean, rats gotta eat too, you know. The Democrats don't care about rats, though, because most of us are Republicans. And because most of us don't vote. Rat suffrage is still a long way off, partly because the Democrats aren't working to grant it, and partly because we rats are too lazy to do anything about it.

Anyway, to sum up my introductory post, I have to say that President Bush is doing a great job! Increased gaps in income means increased poverty, and increased poverty means more slums! Great breeding grounds for ratkind! I support President Bush's slashing of federal funds to the state, because it's the damned state that keeps spraying rodenticide on the station where the 2 and 3 trains go. Defund state pest control! Don't let these lunatics continue to poison ratkind!

I look forward to bringing a rat's-eye point of view to this blog. I wanted to say that I'm like Sean Hannity and Kurt's like Alan Colmes, but he told me he'd kick my ass if I did. So I won't say it. (Even though we are.)


At Friday, October 14, 2005 at 10:30:00 AM EDT, Anonymous Citizens For a Rat-Free America said...

We object.

At Friday, October 14, 2005 at 1:10:00 PM EDT, Blogger Vernon the Rat said...

Why do you object? I think America should let rats run free, too.

It's only through dialogue with liberals that we can get them to listen to us when we mock them with empty taunts. It's something we gotta do. I'm fighting the good fight.


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