Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Joy to the world... except for YOUR kind...

It’s that time of year again—the air gets colder, the days get shorter, the stores get busier, and a good number of Christians get contentious and surly.

Yes, I’m talking about how Dennis Hastert (R-Illinois) wants to call a Christmas tree a “Christmas tree.” Rep. Hastert says he’s tired of our calling that tree on the Capitol grounds a “Holiday tree.” He says it’s a Christmas tree, and that we should stand up and let non-Christians know that December 25 is not their holiday. Got it? Peace, joy and brotherhood—for us. Get your own damn holiday, heathens!

We’ll probably also hear more talk about struggle against the War On Christmas, where he complains that the modern, post-Enlightenment world is fighting to offend Christians by de-Christianizing Christmas. He appeals to tradition, saying that we should get back to the days when everyone said “Merry Christmas” to each other all the time. Whenever that was. Probably back in the days before these filthy foreigners started polluting our pure Christian society. “Happy holidays,” O’Reilly says, “absolutely does” offend Christians. Honestly, what probably offends Christians more is having such a bitter, sour man claim to speak for them. Me, I had a good Catholic upbringing, and O’Reilly’s mewling about “persecution” makes me ill.

Where do you get such faulty information? "Happy holidays" is NOT a new greeting. People in America have been saying that for YEARS! Listen to those old Christmas carols from the 1940s and you'll hear it. It's nothing new.

Further, with so many holidays happening during the coldest, darkest, and otherwise dreariest time of the year, doesn't it make sense that we should try to get as much well-wishing into as few words as possible? With two little words, "Happy holidays," you reach Christians of all denominations, Jews, recognizers of Kwanzaa, Moslems (at least until Ramadan moves into January over the next few years,) pagans, as well as atheists who still exchange gifts on the 25th and on Boxing Day, plus everyone who uses the Gregorian calendar celebrates New Year's Day (and if you're an American, that probably includes you.)

Joy to the world! Spread the cheer around! Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me—so treat 'em nice! Make someone happy, or at least wish them happy during the holidays!

Honestly, since when is Christmastime supposed to be the kind of time when you say, "I'm gonna wish you a Merry Christmas and if you don't like it, screw you." Did Jesus die on the cross for that? Honestly...

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