Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Republicans casting about for '08 convention site

They've sent invitations to 31 cities to make bids for their presidential convention, but they're also open to bids from other cities who feel they'd be appropriate locations. Their primary requirements are:

·A main convention facility capable of seating at least 20,500.
·A city and its host committee's willingness and ability to provide and pay for security for the convention (kind of like how Iraq pays for its security through oil revenues.)
·City must be able to make available to the RNC's planning committee 20,000 hotel rooms and 2,000 one- and two-bedroom suites (or a large stadium where cots can be set up, like in New Orleans back in September.)

Invitations have been extended to:

Anaheim, CA
Atlanta, GA
Boston, MA
Charlotte, NC
Chicago, IL
Columbus, OH
Dallas, TX
Denver, CO
Detroit, MI
Houston, TX
Indianapolis, IN
Los Angeles, CA
Kansas City, MO
Memphis, TN
Miami, FL
Minneapolis, MN
Nashville, TN
New Orleans, LA
New York, NY
Orlando, FL
Philadelphia, PA
Phoenix, AZ
Pittsburgh, PA
Portland, OR
Sacramento, CA
San Antonio, TX
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
St. Louis, MO
Tampa, FL

I propose a few more:

Wichita, KS: Then the country can see the massive unemployment and destitution caused by Republican deregulation of industry. Check out the abandoned Boeing plant! See poorly paid, illegal Mexican immigrants work in underregulated meat-packing plants! Listen to Christian radio until you've got stigmata pouring out of your ears!

Flint, MI: Constant demonizing of unions has, along with the aforementioned corporate deregulation, contributed to the decline of this former industrial center. Bonus: it's Michael Moore's hometown! Since Republicans take Mr. Moore so seriously, this would be fantastic!

New Canaan, CT: Very Republican section of a very Democratic state, and birthplace of Ann Coulter. Remind the fiscal Republicans here just what the country's myriad social Republicans are like. "Mrs. Vanderwealth says she saw some of those awful Southern Republicans at the convention. They were either new money or no money—I don't know which is worse! Oh, when will this dreadfully common rabble leave?"

Nogales, AZ: Here Republicans can get a first-hand view of the people President Bush will likely have given guest-worker visas (but not citizenship) by 2008. Watch Tom Tancredo's head explode!

Prudhoe Bay, AK: Situated not far from the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, maybe we can get some pro-drilling Republicans excited about nature. Or maybe get them eaten by polar bears. Either one is okay by me.


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