Thursday, April 06, 2006

Judas Iscariot: framed by Jesus?

I guess you can't have a hero without a villan. This codex originally appeared in the Drama in Real Life section of the Reader's Digest, May issue, 33 A.D.

Thirty pieces of silver for twenty centuries of slander... I dunno. Still, I imagine that if there is a heaven, Judas probably doesn't get tired of making them nervous about where they really are when they see *him* there. I sure wouldn't.

Tonight only at Jesus' Palace: the comedy stylings of Judas Iscariot! "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! How's everyone doing tonight? Good? Yeah, I bet you are. I like this place. I know the owner. I think he's a good guy, despite what you might have heard, you know? Some patrons water down their wine, but here, it's the other way around! Ha! Hey, can you folks hear me okay in the back? No? Well, I can get you a better table up front. These folks got here early, but they won't mind losing their seats. But, ah... you got thirty pieces of silver?

Hey! Anyone here from Arimathea? Not much work for gravediggers there, is there? I swear, in my day, if you didn't like your tomb, you stuck with it. Some town, that Arimathea. Last time I was there, I went into a bar and ordered some wine. The bartender gives me a whole amphore. I said, 'Don't you have any cups?' He looked at me and said, 'You need a cup? Go find one yourself! People are always taking my cups!' I couldn't believe this guy! 'This is false advertising!' I told him. 'Your sign says different!' 'Does it?' he says. 'Look again.' So I go out and check it out, and boy did I feel like an idiot. 'You're right,' I told the barkeep. 'It says "bar and grill"!'"

Okay, I don't know if those jokes are any good, but if you want them to make any sense, read the Gospels, and you'll get 'em. (Note: this is not to be taken as a specific endorsement of any religion, philosophy or belief system. These are just jokes, folks.)

The Judas-was-framed (voluntarily) story is real, though. Read about it here.


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