Skip to main content

Squonk

Old Pennsylvania legend, it is written, tells of a creature called the squonk (lacrimacorpens dissolvens).  The squonk lives in the woods and is very hard to track down, though its cries are often heard, especially around twilight, when it’s said to wander about the hemlock trees.  It is elusive, and it wants to be.  The reason for this is that the squonk is one of the homeliest creatures in the world and it knows it.  Its skin is ill-fitting, covered with warts and moles.  It doesn’t like being so ugly, so its cries and tears are said to be caused by its weeping over its lot in life.


Skilled hunters, it is said, can track the squonk by following the trails of tears it leaves.  Even so, the squonk is very hard to catch.  In fact, only one squonk is said ever to have been caught.  This feat was accomplished by a hunter called J. P. Wentling, who lived near Mont Alto, Pennsylvania.  He caught the creature by mimicking it and luring it into a sack.  His success is attributed to the fact that it was a cold night, which slowed the creature’s movements.  The squonk was not happy to be caught--indeed, the creature never seems to be happy about anything--and wept powerfully as Mr. Wentling carried it home.  On his way home, he felt his sack suddenly get lighter.  Promptly he looked inside and saw that the squonk had not escaped but had rather dissolved into a pool of tears and bubbles.


The squonk of course does not exist and never has, not even in folklore.  In fact, the legend appears to have first appeared in a 1910 book called Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods by William T. Cox.  Cox devotes a whole page to this cryptid that he apparently invented, and his book provides an illustration, as well.

An illustration of a squonk in its natural habitat from Cox’s 1910 book.


A 1939 book called Fearsome Critters by Henry H. Tryon gives a little more detail of the squonk, reiterating that they will dissolve into tears when surprised, and giving a history of the squonk’s fossil record.  According to Tryon, the squonk had originally been a desert creature, but was driven to the marshes as the terrain around it changed.  By Tryon’s telling, this caused the species to evolve into a creature that had webbing on its left feet, due to a peculiar habit of circling the lakes of its newly developed environment.  (The fossil record of Pennsylvania predates the Cambrian Era, which means that due to the erosion of prehistoric mountains there, no dinosaur bones can be found in the state.  Aside from no evidence of the squonk, there is also no evidence that any part of the state was ever desert.  It’s possible; a lot can change over 485.4 million years, but we don’t know.)


Tryon’s squonk


Perhaps the best-known author to reference the squonk was Jorge Luís Borges in his 1957 book Manual de Zoologica Fantástica.  In it, Borges copies Cox’s description wholesale and reprints it.  Borges explores all sorts of creatures from ancient mythology, the Bible, literature, and folklore.  Having been well known already, Borges is probably more responsible than any writer for spreading awareness of the squonk.  


All squonk references trace back to Cox’s fanciful 1910 book.  Cox definitely didn’t draw on extant folklore for this invention.  As a Pennsylvania native, I have never seen or heard of anything like a squonk, or even heard anyone talk about them.  The squonk appeared in popular music in Steely Dan’s Any Major Dude Will Tell You on their 1974 album Pretzel Logic, where it gets a brief mention: “Have you ever seen a squonk’s tears?  Well, look at mine/The people on the street have all seen better times.”  The first reference I knew of it came from the song Squonk, on Genesis’s 1976 album A Trick of the Tail.  The song tells the whole sad tale of the squonk’s life, particularly the captured squonk mentioned in Cox’s book.  A more cheerful version of the squonk appears in Julia Jarman’s 1989 young adult novel Squonk.  Kevin Paul Saleeba’s 2014 novel The Squonk and the Horned Beast was conceived as a salute to the aforementioned Genesis song, but by the author’s own admission it developed into a story of a misfit creature trying to find its place in a world where it always felt awkwardly wedged in.  A century ago, an author dashed off a few paragraphs on a sparsely described creature that sprang from his own mind.  Perhaps all the squonk needed was time to find a place in culture.




The squonk and the hunter who caught it from Genesis’s 1976 album art by the design group Hipgnosis.


Steely Dan - "Any Major Dude Will Tell You"

Genesis - "Squonk"





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How the Lemon was Invented

Lemons How do you make a lemon?  Silly question, isn’t it?  You just take the seeds out of one and plant them, and wait for the tree to come up, right?  That’s true, but it hasn’t always been that easy.  Lemons today are a widely cultivated citrus fruit, with a flavor used in cuisines of countries where no lemon tree would ever grow.  You might think that it was just a matter of ancient peoples finding the trees, enjoying their fruit and growing more of them, but that’s not true.  The lemon is a human invention that’s maybe only a few thousand years old. The first lemons came from East Asia, possibly southern China or Burma.  (These days, some prefer to refer to Burma as Myanmar .  I’ll try to stay out of that controversy here and stick to fruit.)  The exact date of the lemon’s first cultivation is not known, but scientists figure it’s been around for more than 4,000 years.  The lemon is a cross breed of several fruits.  One f...

The Massachusetts Codfish License Plate Fiasco of 1928

A 1928 Massachusetts license plate with a bad omen! 1928 was a bad year for the Massachusetts codfish yield.  Whose fault was it?  The Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles', of course—or you might think so, to listen to some of the irate fishermen that year. The problem started with the new license plate design.  At the time, it was common for states to issue brand new license plates every year, and Massachusetts was no exception.  The new plates for 1928 featured something revolutionary, too: it was the first time any state put a picture of anything on the plate.  Since Massachusetts was known for cod, the picture the RMV chose was, logically, a codfish.  It appeared at the bottom of the plate.  In the bottom left-hand corner was the year, 1928.  In the bottom right-hand corner was the state, written “Mass.”  And in the middle was the codfish—the first picture of anything that ever appeared on an American license plate...

From Holy Water to the Automat: Great Strides in Self-Service

  One of the greatest inventors of the ancient world was Heron Alexandrinus, aka Hero of Alexandria, who racked up an incredible 80 inventions throughout his lifetime in the first century CE.  One of Heron’s remarkable inventions was an early (and possibly the first) steam engine.  But one that we moderns might least expect is one that we seldom associate with the ancient world: the vending machine. Heron’s vending machine sold one thing: holy water.  He invented it in order to stop the theft of holy water from the temples.  The way it worked was you’d put a 5 drachma coin in a slot.  The coin would land on one end of a lever which, when depressed, would allow holy water to trickle out of a spout.  As long as the coin was balanced on the end of the lever, the water would keep coming.  The coin would remain balanced for a short while.  When it dropped off the lever, a counterweight was released, closing the spout and preventing anyone from tak...